🤭🤯😪 This article was co-authored by Shana Tibi and by wikiHow staff writer, Madeleine Criglow. Shana Tibi is a Certified Professional Matchmaker, Date and Relationship Coach, and the Founder of Curated Connections, a matchmaking service for single professionals. Shana specializes in understanding core values and personal preferences to curate dates. She holds a BA in Peace Studies and Conflict Resolution from Prescott College and an MSW in Social Work from California State University, Hayward. She is an active member of the Global Love Institute where she earned her matchmaking certifications.
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🤭🤯😪 Do you suspect your girlfriend's sister might have a crush on you? It's a tricky situation to be in, and it's totally understandable if you're a little confused. Thankfully, there is a lot you can do to address what's happening. Keep reading for signs that your girlfriend's sister likes you, along with advice on how to handle the situation with kindness, respect, and care for your relationship with your girlfriend.
Section 1 of 2:Signs Your Girlfriend’s Sister Likes You
- 1She compliments you. One way to find out if someone has a crush on you is to think of any compliments they've given you recently. Has your girlfriend's sister recently complimented your looks or your personality? She might just be being nice, but if she's complimenting you all of the time or being flirty, she probably has a crush.XResearch source
- She might compliment your looks by saying something like, "That sweater looks so good on you." She may compliment your personality with something like, "You're like the funniest person I've ever met."
- To respond, simply say "thank you" and change the subject.
- 2She's touchy-feely with you. If your girlfriend's sister likes you, she may find excuses to touch you or be physically affectionate. Aside from an occasional hug, it's pretty unusual for your girlfriend's sister to do this (unless she's trying to show her feelings). If you notice that your girlfriend's sister is always hugging you, touching your shoulder in conversation, or being playfully affectionate, she may be trying to flirt with you.XResearch source
- If her behavior makes you uncomfortable, it's totally okay to set boundaries. Try stepping back and giving her a wave instead of a hug, for example.
- 3She wants to spend time together one-on-one. It's normal for you and your girlfriend's sister to be friendly, but it's not super common to spend a lot of time alone with each other. If your girlfriend's sister tries to hang out with you anytime your girlfriend leaves the room or invites you to spend time with her, she may like you.
- If you're uncomfortable, minimize the time the two of you spend alone together. If you're girlfriend steps out to grab something to eat, tag along with her. If your girlfriend's sister asks you to hang out, kindly tell her that you're busy.
- 4She reaches out a lot over text or on social media. It's common to like the occasional Instagram post, but if she's reaching out much more than you, that's a sign that she likes you. Has she recently requested to follow all of your social media accounts (even after you've denied her previous requests), liked all your posts consistently, or texted you just to chat? These are all signs that she has feelings for you.XResearch source
- She might text you just to talk and want to carry on a long conversation. If her texts are too much, it's okay to let her know that you're busy. Try, "Hey, I'm pretty swamped with work this week. Hope you've been doing well, too!"
- If you're not comfortable with her following you on social media, it's alright to deny her request or let it go unanswered. If she says anything, say, "I don't really use social media" and leave it at that.
- 5She tells you that she has feelings for you. This may be the most obvious indicator, but she definitely likes you if she confesses a crush or reveals how she feels directly. She might say that she likes you or even mention that she wishes the two of you were dating instead of you and her sister.
- If your girlfriend's sister reveals a crush on you, it's understandable to feel pretty uncomfortable and confused. Try your best to prioritize your girlfriend's feelings and remain honest to avoid any hurtful misunderstandings.
- Respond with something like, "I'm in a relationship with Sarah, so I don't feel comfortable with this conversation. I hope you understand."
Section 2 of 2:What To Do if Your Girlfriend’s Sister Likes You
- 1Ignore your girlfriend’s sister's advances. Especially if your girlfriend's sister is young, she may just be dealing with a fleeting crush. If you don't respond to her advances and continue to simply treat her like a platonic person in your life, she may grow out of it or find a new crush that's a better match for her.
- Anytime your girlfriend's sister tries to flirt with you, for example, respond platonically and never flirt back. If she compliments you, say thank you respectfully and don't give a compliment in return.
- 2Talk to your girlfriend if her sister is making you uncomfortable.Having a difficult conversation with your partner may seem intimidating, but being honest and transparent about the situation might really help. Wait until you and your girlfriend are alone and try to bring up the subject in a respectful, gentle way. Emphasize how you feel by using I-statements, rather than talking negatively about her sister, and ask how she feels when you're done.
- Say something like, "I get a little uncomfortable when I get a lot of texts from your little sister. I'm happy to be buds with her, but I think she may have a crush."
- To talk to your girlfriend about her point of view, try, "I realize this situation is a little awkward. What do you think about it? Is there anything I can do to make this easier for everyone?"
- 3Ask your girlfriend’s sister to give you space. If your girlfriend's sister isn't getting the hint, tell her that you're not comfortable with her advances directly. Since you'll still have to see each other sometimes, keep your words kind, empathetic, and respectful. Though it may be a little uncomfortable in the moment, it may help the situation in the long run.XResearch source
- Try, "I think you're a great person, but I'm in a committed relationship with Danielle. I'm not comfortable texting so frequently" or "I enjoy when we all hang out as a group, but I think it would be best if we didn't spend time alone."
- 4Evaluate your feelings if you're conflicted. If your girlfriend's sister likes you, you might be confused or even tempted to like her in return. Before acting on any of your feelings, it's important to remind yourself that you're in a committed relationship with your girlfriend. Think about how something like this would make her feel and ask yourself if your feelings are sincere (and not just a fleeting temptation that will go away).XResearch source
- Talk about your feelings with a trusted friend or family member. Avoid reaching out to any mutual friends of your girlfriend or her sister, though.
- It's best not to talk about any confusing feelings you may have for your girlfriend's sister with your girlfriend. This could damage their relationship as sisters and hurt her feelings.
- 5End your relationship if you're still confused. Respectfully breaking things off is the kindest thing you can do if you have feelings for someone else. Without going into the specifics, break up with your girlfriend nicely. Then, take some time for yourself, rely on your friends for support, and try going on dates with new people. Your feelings may fade over time once you get some space, and it will save you, your girlfriend, and her sister from a chaotic situation.XResearch source
- It's okay to change your mind when you're in a relationship, but really look at your feelings for your girlfriend's sister with caution. Pursuing anything with her could be devastating for their relationship and very confusing for you.
- QuestionHow do you make it easier to just be friends with someone of the opposite sex?Jan & Jillian YuhasJan Yuhas and Jillian Yuhas are Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists and the Founders of Entwined Lifestyle. They specialize in helping individuals and couples work on effective communication, healthy boundaries, and lifestyle wellness. They have also been featured on media outlets such as Yahoo Lifestyle and Bustle. Jan and Jillian both hold a BA in Psychology from The University of Illinois at Chicago and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy from The Adler School of Professional Psychology.
Relationship Coaches & Boundary SpecialistsRelationship Coaches & Boundary SpecialistsExpert AnswerIt's best to avoid using flirtatious language so you don’t confuse the other person when it comes to hanging out as friends. Establish boundaries so there is clarity about the type of relationship you wish to share from the beginning. To keep the connection platonic this involves declining romantic gestures, not blurring the lines of physical contact, and/or splitting the tab for social activities.