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If you're looking for ways to support your partner, you're probably wondering where to begin. Most people in relationships have similar needs. Your partner probably wants your attention, respect, and encouragement. So, what can you do to show your partner that you're always there for them? We've asked the experts and come up with helpful suggestions that you can immediately use in your relationship.

This article is based on an interview with our relationship expert, Kelli Miller, licensed pyschotherapist and award-winning author. Check out the full interview here.

1 of 11:
Make time for your partner.

  1. Giving them your time and attention lets them know they're important. People are busier than ever, so it really means something if you create time just for the two of you—not to do chores, run errands, or get something done. Set aside time for the two of you to enjoy each other's company. You'll both feel more emotionally connected as a couple.[1]
    • Aim for a weekly date night. If nights aren't an option, have lunch or breakfast together at least once a week. The point is to find a time that works.
    • Do activities that you enjoy as a couple. You two might go for a jog, see a movie, do a wine tasting, or swim at the lake for instance.
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2 of 11:
Do thoughtful things for them.

  1. Help your partner without pointing it out to reduce their stress levels. When you do things that support your partner without being obvious, it's called invisible support. The great thing about invisible support is that your partner enjoys your efforts, but doesn't feel obligated to do something in return. Here are some nice things you could do for them:[2]
    • Get an oil change on their car when you notice it's time.
    • Let your partner pick the restaurant the next time you go out.
    • Save them the last piece of dessert even though you'd like it.
    • Do a task that your partner usually does and complains about.
    • If you have kids together, ask them to make sweet cards for your partner.

3 of 11:
Have regular check-ins.

4 of 11:
Ask what your partner needs.

  1. Learn their needs so you can understand or fulfill them. If you've been with your partner for a while, you might automatically assume that you know what they need or want. Instead of making these assumptions, ask your partner what they need. They'll feel respected and will really appreciate that you cared enough to find out.[4]
    • For instance, your partner might say, "I just need to be able to vent about my day. I don't expect you to solve my problems—it just helps to have you listen," or, "I need more physical connection. It makes me feel really good when you come over and give me a hug or we hold hands."

5 of 11:
Practice active listening with your partner.

  1. Put away distractions to let your partner see that you care. Whenever your partner talks to you, give them your full attention. Turn off your phone, face your partner, and make eye contact. Try not to interrupt until their done speaking. These sound simple, but active listening tells your partner that you value what they're telling you.[5]
    • If you can, have your conversation somewhere quiet, so it's easier to hear what your partner is saying.
    • Refer back to what you talked about to show them that truly care. Wait a few days after your partner shared their needs and ask how things are going.[6] This lets your partner see that you really paid attention and that their needs are important to you.
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6 of 11:
Respect your partner's point of view.

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      3. Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
      4. Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
      5. Sabrina Grover, LMSW. Licensed Master Social Worker. Expert Interview. 3 December 2021.
      6. Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.
      7. Sabrina Grover, LMSW. Licensed Master Social Worker. Expert Interview. 3 December 2021.
      8. Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
      9. Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.

      About This Article

      Written by:
      This article was written by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW and by wikiHow staff writer, Jessica Gibson. Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist, Author, and TV/radio host based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli is currently in private practice and specializes in individual and couples' relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. As an author, she received a Next Generation Indie Book Award for her book "Thriving with ADHD: A Workbook for Kids" and also wrote "Professor Kelli's Guide to Finding a Husband". Kelli was a host on LA Talk Radio, a relationship expert for The Examiner, and speaks globally. You can also see her work on YouTube:, Instagram @kellimillertherapy, and her website: She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
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      Co-authors: 6
      Updated: May 29, 2022
      Views: 861
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 861 times.

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